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So many motherf*ckers!

 Realized in the night – I have to stop scrolling. I have to shut the door to the addictive madness of American politics, which has wasted countless of my precious hours. Ontario politics are bad enough these days, and I can’t shut those out completely, especially with the disgusting, profoundly undemocratic Bill 23 going through and a CUPE school strike coming Monday. 

           But I do not want to read another word about Trump or DeSantis or Mitch or MTG or any of that parade of truly vile human beings. It is sullying my life. To quote the pithy words of my friend Janet, who says often on Twitter, “So many motherfuckers!” 

            I read the Star in the morning and listen to CBC news on the radio and will continue to do so, and later in the day, I check the NYT and sometimes the Globe or the Guardian. I can’t stop finding out briefly what’s going on in the world. But I’ve given reprehensible people too much space in my head. 

            Perhaps this retrenchment is provoked by the snow. Suddenly, in seconds, our beautiful hot autumn ended and it’s winter here, lots of snow, trees in the yard bent over with ice. It’s here already, the long dark time, and so it’s harder to countenance the cold darkness of the human heart. 

            In the meantime, however, the little refugee family has moved in downstairs, glad to have space to unpack and be at home, if only for two and a half weeks. How I wish I could offer more. She left everything behind in Kyiv, home, work, her son’s father, to flee an unforgivably unjust war that her mother here supports. And yet she’s cheerful and beautiful, going to English classes every day. Her resilience and stubborn courage, an example to us all. 

                And now, to cheer you up, the wise, lovely face of my third grandson, the hairy one. Turn off those machines, my friends, and go play with a dog.




8 Responses to “So many motherf*ckers!”

  1. ISO says:

    Beautiful photo of that lovely Bandit boy! Posing for his portrait like he models for the camera every day. It belongs in a silver frame with your other family photos…. We should all look so dignified.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Hi Beth. I have a big bag of women's clothes here that I'm looking to donate. Would the woman who's just moved in want them? Happy to drop off. It's Carol McPhee btw!

  3. Anonymous says:

    I wish I lived closer. I'd love to help. And maybe learn a bit more Ukrainian. There's a group who relocated on the lower Coast. We offered to have some here but it was decided that it would be better to keep them together in a community with a bus, etc.

  4. beth says:

    He is a beauty, isn't he? An old soul. But also a great lover of bones and balls.

  5. beth says:

    I can't imagine what it would be like to have to leave everything behind and not know when you can go back. And now it's winter. So we do what we can.

  6. beth says:

    Thanks, Carol, that's kind of you. She's small – maybe a size 6? If she doesn't want them or can't use them, mind you, I could take the stuff to a shelter that's not far.

  7. Anonymous says:

    These things would fit her then! If you give me your address I'll drop them off tmw or Sunday.

  8. beth says:

    Thank you! 308 Sackville St. in Cabbagetown. Please email me,, or phone 416-922-2721.

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About Beth

I began keeping a journal at the age of nine. Nearly fifty years later, I started this online journal, sharing reflections, reviews, updates, and the occasional secret.

Some Blogs I Follow

Chris Walks
This blog evolves. It once was about travels. Now it’s a reason to be at the keyboard that I value.

Theresa Kishkan
Theresa Kishkan is a writer living on the Sechelt Peninsula on the west coast of Canada.

I walk on. With my feet, and in my mind as well.

Carrie Snyder
Wherever you’ve come from, wherever you’re going, consider this space a place for reflection and pause.


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