My new book “Midlife Solo” will be published by Mosaic Press later this year. Stay tuned!

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How I Won the War

Farewell, dear Downton friends. Skilful work, Julian Fellowes, arranging, for example, to have Anna get pregnant in the late spring so she’d be able to give birth during the last episode on New Year’s Eve! Funny how Anna and Bates just fell off the radar. Very clever to get out of the series just before the storyline hit the Depression. I know, it was absurd, neatly wrapping up all those stories with love everywhere abounding – except, of course, poor gay Thomas – and no surprises except that Mary is married to a used car salesman, Edith actually has some backbone, and all the children were as invisible as always.

We watched the Sixty Minutes piece of fluff about our handsome PM, had a wonderful dinner, and then drank Champagne – well, Prosecco – and ate chocolate, strawberries and macarons during the show. And we, like everyone else, are now asking – What will we do next Sunday night?

Here’s an idea: my friend and fellow Beatle nut Piers Hemmingsen is producing another great event at the Revue Cinema – this time, a special showing of “How I Won the War,” featuring John Lennon. Piers interviewed director Richard Lester for this event and will be speaking about it. Details here: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/richard-lester-on-how-i-won-the-war-tickets-22629144380

My Cousin Ted in NYC sent me this joke, which made me laugh out loud and also wince. Hit close to home for me and I’m sure for many of you:

JEWISH MOTHER

The year is 2024 and the United States has elected the first woman President, Susan Goldfarb.

She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, ‘So, Mom, I assume you’ll be coming to my inauguration?’

‘I don’t think so. It’s a ten hour drive, your father isn’t as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.’

‘Don’t worry about it Mom, I’ll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door.’

‘I don’t know. Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy, what on earth would I wear?’

Susan replies, ‘I’ll make sure you have a wonderful gown custom-made by the best designer in New York.’

‘Honey,’ Mom complains, ‘you know I can’t eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat.’

The President-to-be responds, ‘Don’t worry Mom. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York, kosher all the way. Mom, I really want you to come.’

So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2025, Susan Goldfarb is being sworn in as President of the United States.

In the front row sits the new President’s mother, who leans over to a senator sitting next to her and says, ‘You see that woman over there with her hand on the Torah, becoming President of the United States?

The Senator whispers back, ‘Yes I do’.

Mom says proudly, ‘Her brother is a doctor.’

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About Beth

I began keeping a journal at the age of nine. Nearly fifty years later, I started this online journal, sharing reflections, reviews, updates, and the occasional secret.

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A new book by Beth Kaplan, published by Mosaic Press – “Midlife Solo”

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