My new book “Midlife Solo” will be published by Mosaic Press later this year. Stay tuned!

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Those moments when the heart seizes and the pain is physical: yesterday, marinating chicken breasts, realizing that every week, I cooked a large meal or two because Wayson would come to share it. Now I have to cook for myself or find another hungry single non-cooking friend.

Anna just sent this photograph. It’s her birthday today, Eli is home from school, and we’re meeting for lunch. Usually, I’d forward this immediately to my friend and he’d write back some rhapsodic lines about family and love and youth, about the boys as heartbreakers. Not today.

So – the heart hurts and then gradually not so much. As Theresa said, now I will come to know my friend in a different way.

Friend Gretchen just emailed, “Your blog continues to shine a light Into a completely unfamiliar world. The saying ‘there are no words to express’ or ‘words fail to express,’ simply are not true to me anymore. Because I am taking notice of very powerful and deeply meaningful words to express all sorts of loss, grief, sadness, rage, as well as joy, love, appreciation, delight, memory. Your community of writers, journalists, biographers, photo journalists (writers from the eye), are all becoming an essential tank of oxygen for humanity. Every person has a story, a narrative that rolls along, from birth to death. Keep writing. It does help to heal for the reader as well.”

It is raining again. It has been raining for the last six months. One day it will stop raining.



2 Responses to “pain”

  1. theresa says:

    Gretchen's right — you do shine a light, Beth, through confusion, pain, and heartbreak. And the days are growing longer, lighter. Our lilacs are in bloom.

  2. beth says:

    No lilac blooms here yet but magnolias up the street and forsythia at last. It is good to know this little blog means something, beyond the spilling of my heart and the beans.

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About Beth

I began keeping a journal at the age of nine. Nearly fifty years later, I started this online journal, sharing reflections, reviews, updates, and the occasional secret.

Some Blogs I Follow

Chris Walks
This blog evolves. It once was about travels. Now it’s a reason to be at the keyboard that I value.

Theresa Kishkan
Theresa Kishkan is a writer living on the Sechelt Peninsula on the west coast of Canada.

Juliet in Paris
I came to Paris in the 1990s. Decades later I’m still here. Come with me while I roam the city, the country, and beyond.

Walking Woman
I walk on. With my feet, and in my mind as well.

Carrie Snyder
Wherever you’ve come from, wherever you’re going, consider this space a place for reflection and pause.


Coming soon

A new book by Beth Kaplan, published by Mosaic Press – “Midlife Solo”

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