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PTSD

I awoke early this morning, saying to myself, Maybe it was all a dream, or a nightmare, not real at all. But no – there it is on the front page of the Star – “Premier Ford.” Not a joke. Real.

So a day of recovery and sorrow for what awaits the people of this province – exactly what we’ve seen in the U.S., disaster for education, transit, health care, the environment, an endless succession of scandals. As I wrote to Anna, the only upside: Ford does not have any nuclear codes. Great comfort in that.

I feel sick and wounded, and not just because a whole party of cretins – including Mike Harris’s son! –  was just elected with a majority, and there are small bloody dots above my eyes. The news of Anthony Bourdain’s suicide after the news of Kate Spade’s. Somehow, I’m surprised and yet not, that wealthy, creative, outwardly successful people are depressed to the point of suicide. The world is fucked right now. It turns out that human beings are far more limited, tribal, and small-minded than we thought. Such needless chaos out there, it hurts to read the paper. I’d cancel it, except that I don’t want to further damage the endangered print media.

There’s a documentary on TVO tonight about Fred Rogers. That will make me feel better. Or maybe not. He’s dead.

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About Beth

I began keeping a journal at the age of nine. Nearly fifty years later, I started this online journal, sharing reflections, reviews, updates, and the occasional secret.

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