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O happy

Listening to the meaty voice of Aretha – “A change is gonna come.” Tonight Randy Bachman’s show is on the spirit and whatever creator you believe in. And ten minutes ago, your correspondent was listening to the Edwin Hawkins Singers sing “O Happy Day,” dancing around her kitchen, as usual, with tears pouring down her stupid sentimental face. And just before that, “Let it be,” with my beloved Paul.

O I had just had a happy day, with my grandson and his mother, and the hint of spring in the air. The chaos that boy leaves behind is mind-boggling – he enters like a hurricane, crawling everywhere, pulling things from shelves and tables, bashing, hurling things about, and when eating, scattering food to the winds, though an enormous amount gets into the right place. He had brunch – sausages, scrambled eggs, broiled tomatoes – and then snacks, including mandelbrot made by my student Ruth and some chocolate ice cream from indulgent Glamma. And then we all went out for a meal! He was wearing a Size 4 pair of long shorts. That is, his waist is the same as a kid who’s Size 4, and the shorts just fit his fat little legs. He is ten months old.

The best – when we’d run out of things to destroy down here, Anna suggested that I take him up to my bed and play there. Well. A good half hour of wrestling with pillows, pulling himself up to look out the window at squirrels and the sky, then flinging himself onto the pillows again and being tickled and turned upside down by Glamma. His mother finally came up to see the fun and there we were, the 3 of us in the afternoon sun, surrounded by pictures of family – her, her brother, her father, my parents and grandparents, and of course, Eli. O Happy Day.

Unhappy – the crabby cat, who had fled the kitchen for my bedroom when the enemy arrived and then had to flee again. Ah well. She’s having a good wash now, to recover.

Last night, my Francophone discussion and dinner group, a most interesting discussion and a most delicious dinner. We talked about the future of the world. Jack grew up in the gulag, his Jewish family a victim of both Nazis and Communists. Though he is now a wealthy developer, his impoverished, persecuted past haunts him. He spoke about his nightmare – that China and Russia will bond to conquer the West. He spoke of the combined number of soldiers and warheads, and the relentless totalitarian vision behind both countries.
But, we said, they’re different visions. No, he sees them as able to combine in a Communist tsunami, while the U.S., he says, is now too weak to repel that force.

It is a nightmare, certainly, and I thought about my grandson confronting such terror. But I do not, I cannot believe in that kind of evil, in that kind of apocalypse. And anyway, I remembered the special back door at Galeries Lafayette in Paris specifically for Chinese and Japanese customers, and the tons of wealthy Russians buying labels there too. If that’s Communism, I’m a monkey’s uncle. Meditation teaches us to let go of the past and of the future, both of which we can do nothing about. Jack told us he is often awake at night with his fears. I am awake enough, with my own small day to day worries, without adding a Russian/Chinese takeover of the world. Let that one go.

Today on the news, it said that many thousands marched in Paris against gay marriage, and even more, gay parenthood. Yesterday, in the Star, was a TD ad for a new mortgage feature, and below is the picture accompanying it. Imagine that image for a BANK even five years ago, let alone ten. Society can change and grow. Two people of the same sex who love each other can become parents and grandparents, just like everyone else. That pink little girl will make a spectacular mess and wear them both out. I wish them the greatest joy.

When Jesus wash … O when he wash … when Jesus wash … he wash my sins away.

P.S. And not only are they gay, but half of this couple is Asian! Way to go, TD.



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About Beth

I began keeping a journal at the age of nine. Nearly fifty years later, I started this online journal, sharing reflections, reviews, updates, and the occasional secret.

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