My new book “Midlife Solo” is now available.

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Robert’s photos

As I wrote awhile ago, I have a box of stuff I was given to store when my beloved friend, visionary playwright, director and arts ambassador Robert Handforth died of AIDS in 1988. I have hardly looked at it in all this time, but on the weekend I did, and found, among many theatre programs from the 70’s and Bob’s scripts, a few strips of 35 millimetre film – no idea of what. So I took it to my photo guy and got a few pix developed. 

Heartbreaking – the very young me, and me and Robert. Around 1969 – we were around 19.

Oh my. I have a cold today, am achey with dripping nose, feeling ugly, old and decrepit, and here’s an unrecognizable young woman with beautiful skin and thick shiny hair, with a man who, though gay, loved many strong women and was one of the great loves of her life, and she, it seems, of his …

Oh well. Life marches on and so do we, friends – like it or lump it, and usually, I like it. But these photos hit hard. I MISS ROBERT SO MUCH! He was beautiful, brilliant, crabby, complicated, prescient. He changed my life and that of many others. I want to talk to him right now. How dare he not be here?

And I know this feeling is going to get worse. These years will start to be about loss. Who else can I bear to lose? NO ONE!

Robert is not here, but Rick Mercer is. I watched his show yesterday, always fun, and his rant was wonderful.—-Look—-Away—.aspx
And something else that’s wonderful: David Brooks, conservative columnist, writing movingly on what he will miss about Obama. I hope what he says will hold true for our Prime Minister as well.



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About Beth

I began keeping a journal at the age of nine. Nearly fifty years later, I started this online journal, sharing reflections, reviews, updates, and the occasional secret.

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