My new book “Midlife Solo” is now available.

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peanut butter crisis

I don’t know about you, but I’m overloaded with things to do. People’s creativity and generosity are overflowing my inbox – so much to read, watch, listen to, absorb! Let alone all the rest pouring in, the radio, TV, magazines, newspapers, and of course the trusty and not-so-trusty websites. Not to mention, buried in there somewhere, books. Jane Eyre on National Theatre Live! The documentary Babies on Rogers On Demand! The NYT, Guardian, WashPost, endless articles, music, films, all on my list. Amazing, wonderful, overwhelming.

At some point, hard choices need to be made.  I find myself deleting far more quickly than I used to, just to try to keep on top of it all.

Crisis today: peanut butter almost gone, and not just any pb, my special kind, only available at the big Loblaws, plus other luxurious necessities – ginger cookies, almonds, Tangelos. So I bravely rode there in the sun today, to find a very long lineup. Turned around and rode home, put on mask and gloves and walked to Lenny’s, the local healthfood store, for a pot of their pb. So I’m safe pb wise. And then the emergency chocolate was delivered from Stratford. My cup runneth etc. Must check my wine stash. Another crisis looms.

At Lenny’s, there was a tall plexiglass shield in front of the cash register. I in my mask and gloves faced the cashier behind glass who didn’t touch any of my things, just asked me to turn them so she could see the prices. Then I tapped and was gone, steering my way home as far from other humans as possible. It goes against everything I hold dear, this rigid avoidance of my fellows. But here we are.

It’s Easter weekend, not that that ever meant much to me. We did celebrate as a family with a big meal, but that’s because we loved any opportunity to gather and feast, nothing to do with the death and resurrection of Jesus. But to those of you out there who celebrate Easter, or Passover, my love and best wishes to you for what will surely be the strangest celebration yet. My cousin and his husband in NYC, who usually host 20 or more, ordered a take-out seder dinner; the company would only deliver an order for 8, so Ted and Henry will celebrate Passover for the next week.

Last night, two fabulous women: Inspector Jane Tennison in reruns – I’m sure I saw them all, but Helen Mirren and all the actors are so good, I love to watch them work. And then Sam Bee, still broadcasting from a field somewhere. All the comedians, such good sports, keeping the flame of comedy and outrage alive.

May this experience show us how little we actually need: health, food, a roof, family, and friends. And really, not much more. Okay, some of us – well, I – also need dark chocolate, peanut butter, wine, and some good reading material and entertainment. And a computer and internet, so I can write to you.



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About Beth

I began keeping a journal at the age of nine. Nearly fifty years later, I started this online journal, sharing reflections, reviews, updates, and the occasional secret.

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