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Heart full. My ex-husband just left to go across town. As he pointed out, his travel style has changed. Usually he’d get a taxi to the airport, but today, he’ll be with Anna, Ben, and Eli, taking the streetcar to the UP Express, which is Ben’s idea of heaven. Ben will be calling out all the stops along the way.

What a gift this visit has been. Our marriage did not work out, but our friendship is deep and strong; he is a fine, fine man, and there is a great love between us. And thank god he was here at this particular time, to be so present when his son needed him most. He spent yesterday with Anna and the boys doing what they’d requested, going up the CN tower for exploring and lunch, then the double-decker tourist bus around town under the broiling sun.

Then dinner with Sam, and both of them over here after. We watched Lincoln. What a fantastic movie – incredible script, direction, acting, particularly Daniel Day-Lewis, one of the all time great performances on film. And watching this superb film with my two favourite men in the world – unforgettable.

This is what Sam texted this morning: Great that I can watch a movie with my divorced parents in the house I grew up in … after I witnessed and was a part of the aftermath of a Mafia hit… Not to mention my sister with two kids from different fathers. Fuck, we’re a very interesting family. HBO in real life. Love you. 

As people like to say – You got that right.

Sam was given a few days off work after the horror of last week; he’ll go back tomorrow. The owners of his bar took him to lunch yesterday and gave him a cheque for the days he wasn’t at work, plus an envelope of cash – the regulars at the bar had taken a collection to reimburse him for his missed hours. How kind. He’s not sleeping well but is better. The paper today reported that the murder was indeed a Mafia hit. Not something you expect right next door, on a regular Toronto street on a sunny Friday afternoon.

It’s a beautiful day, with a heavenly breeze. Time to make yet more gazpacho.

What I need most.



2 Responses to “departure”

  1. there says:

    You know that saying about being old and wearing purple? Seriously, I'd rather have a holder for champagne on my bike…errr. wheelbarrow. (And what a moving description of your family. HBO? No. Closer to angelic somehow.)

  2. beth says:

    I realize I've got to make more occasions for champagne in my life, whether transported by bike or not! And yes, this family has come a great distance and has much to celebrate.

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About Beth

I began keeping a journal at the age of nine. Nearly fifty years later, I started this online journal, sharing reflections, reviews, updates, and the occasional secret.

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