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a little white whine

As I dragged myself from bed this morning – expecting at last to be better, and definitely not better – I thought, maybe this isn’t flu. Maybe it’s bronchitis or pneumonia, to which I’m susceptible. Because this is five days of feeling like shit. Enough is enough. So – I have to get dressed and across town, which will be a major achievement, to see my doctor this afternoon. Yay.

If you’ll permit me a little whine … you know that I love my single life, never having to check in with anyone, my own boss, my own timetable and decisions. All of it, pure freedom, me and Mary Tyler Moore, happy busy singletons in the big city, tossing our hats into the air. But there’s a price, and that price is right now. What I wouldn’t give to hear a kind voice say, “You know, sweetheart, you’ve been sick for days, maybe it’s more than the flu…” As my friend Chris writes in his blog, it’s hard to be sick when you’re single. And I’m lucky – my son is coming today to make soup, my daughter would come in a flash, my neighbours are wonderfully supportive – Gretchen just emailed a file of her playing a piano piece for me! I mean, does it get nicer than that? Jean-Marc delivered the NYT, Ruth just sent an e-card, Carol my tenant has been patiently making tea and getting groceries. I am surrounded with loving support and have NOTHING to complain about. I am not complaining.

I’m just saying that this morning, hearing a voice say, “Sweetheart, you still don’t look so good. Why don’t you call the doctor?” would have been nice.

And I know, even in longterm marriages, there’s no guarantee your partner would be caring or cognizant or thoughtful. Or even THERE. I just feel like whining, so you know I’m not always perky. I am not always perky. Anyway, no problem, I said the words to myself, with slightly less affection, maybe, but with the same result: doctor’s appointment.

On the plus side, in our world of wonder, there are comedians. Marvellous comedians saving the day – thank god for them. I watched Sam Bee last night, with a stunning piece about Trump’s foray into Scotland; you can imagine what the Scottish have to say about him and what delicious words they use to say it. I saw a picture on FB of Alec Baldwin’s latest incarnation of Trump and laughed out loud.

The world is insane, but luckily there are brilliant, generous men and women who catch the insanity in their ideas and words and reflect it back to us with humour, so that we can laugh.

So that we can bear it.



2 Responses to “a little white whine”

  1. theresa says:

    It does sound like it's time to see your doctor (won't add the "sweetheart", not yet, as we've never actually met!). If it's pneumonia or a bronchial infection, even the best soup and the best friends pale in comparison to a good drug.

  2. beth says:

    Drugs! That's what I want and what I now have. Yes, it's pneumonia or a like infection and I have antibiotics. Thank you for your kind and sensible words from across the mountains. You can call me sweetheart anytime.

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About Beth

I began keeping a journal at the age of nine. Nearly fifty years later, I started this online journal, sharing reflections, reviews, updates, and the occasional secret.

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